Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Do you have pics of the wife making out with another guy?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I actually pay taxes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why do men think all women are the same?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

How many girls or guys keep extra pantyhose in their glove box or console of their vehicle?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took a video of my serve (60 FPS) and it took 0.4 seconds from my racket to the service line. How fast would you say my serve was?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

Which Bibles can one read and be confident they are reading the inerrant word of God?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What is world history that not many people know about?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I see through liars

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can read

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand how hurricane paths work

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y